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Written by our very own, Jeannette K. Peña

Remember when you first met him?  How he made you feel?  How you would hang on to each moment and each word that came out of that wonderful man’s mouth? Then, as time passed, he began to let you know of the things you do that bother him or that he doesn’t agree with. After that, he starts to criticize you and put you down.  You begin to think that you have to change all these things about yourself because “he” doesn’t like those things or “he” wouldn’t approve.  You try to be the person he wants you to be and you’re thinking that if you just keep trying he will finally realize what a wonderful woman you are and that he will change and bring back that man that you were so in love with. But no matter how hard you try, it never seems to be enough and you can never get it right.  The sad thing is that you start to believe the things he says and by now you will have succumbed to his control. All you do is pray that that man that you fell in love with, the charming and attentive man – comes back so that you can finally live happily ever after, like he once may have promised. The reality is that “he” is not coming back.  Where did he go? Who is this man that you have been living with? He looks so much like that wonderful man that you fell in love with once and love him still. But now the heartbreak and reality starts to set in because you must face the fact that that wonderful man that you loved and still love, no longer exist. This is when you can begin to mourn the loss of that loved one and find the strength and courage to break out of that spell, to find yourself again, because that man that you have been with…is not the same man and he will not change.